Jesus H Christ's awesome fuckin' journal|
[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Jesus H Fucking Christ's LiveJournal:
|Sunday, September 10th, 2006|
|Sunday, August 13th, 2006|
|Sunday, June 4th, 2006|
|Thursday, May 25th, 2006|
|Saturday, December 31st, 2005|
|Tuesday, December 6th, 2005|
|Thursday, July 21st, 2005|
|Sunday, July 17th, 2005|
Book now. Limited offer.
|Thursday, June 2nd, 2005|
|Thursday, July 22nd, 2004|
You won't believe what happened to me today.
|Thursday, June 24th, 2004|
|Thursday, June 3rd, 2004|
Some of you droning food tubes have continued to question me. Here is an example:"Dear Sweet Jesus, I want so much to have faith in you but can't understand why there is suffering in the world. Please help me to see the truth..."
Etcetera. Blah blah. You want the truth? Ever heard of "free will"? This means that as your lord on high and creator I am sick to the teeth of your bullshit and just want a quiet life, smoking crack, playing counterstrike, having Britney suck me off and swallow. So you can fuck off with your piddling problems. Go, suffer, die, give a shit.
Don't come crawling to me; you've got free will, suckers, free will to be blown up or catch AIDS or whatever.
OIh, and for all you satan worshippers - don't come to me with your crap either. You're going to burn in hell too, no need to celebrate it.
|Friday, May 28th, 2004|
A lot of people have been asking me what I think about the issue of gay marriage, an issue that I see causes a lot of fuss down there in skanksville usa. And what about homosexuality generally? Is it a sin. Well I think I can lay down once and for all my views on the matter.
Thanks for asking.
|Wednesday, May 26th, 2004|
|Tuesday, May 25th, 2004|
I've heard some of you bitches don't believe I'm the real thing. Well, screw you, like I give a shit. You'll all be changing your minds when you're burning in hell, believe me. Free will suckers.
Some stupid bitch has quoted from that book we put out a while back - the one you earth-bound cunnies edited the shit out of. And she's right - doesn't matter what religion you're born into, all you have to do is believe in me and never do anything bad and you're sweet as sweet up in the clouds with St Peter and the rest of them. Except you're all doing bad shit, coveting your neighbor's ass and all that.
So why not go the fuck and covet it, not going to stop now are you? Go pork it from behind for all I care, push her guts in a bit while you're at it. Might as well, eh?
|Friday, May 21st, 2004|
I've been asked a few questions by some grovelling creeps out there and thought if I answered a few maybe you'd fuck off with your whiny prayers.
First of all, the question of whether those of you born into a different faith get into heaven. Well, no. But then again, no big loss, all that sitting around on boring cunting clouds playing the harp, stroking your beard and pouting... load of fucking shit if you ask me. Plus you have to live your whole life like Mother Theresa to get up there, you know, make friends with dictators, sort out india by building shitloads of churches and tell all the starving kids not to use contraception. And as much as you cunnies may think you're holy there's a whole shitloads of dried up nuns ahead of you in the line.
I know you've got impure thoughts, better go flagellate your ass. Oh, that would be another one, better whip harder bee-atch!
|Wednesday, May 19th, 2004|
Some days even the son of god can get tired of counterstrike, masturbation and smoking crack. So I magicked up Britney Spears and got her to suck my fucking dick.
It's great being Jesus.
|Tuesday, May 18th, 2004|
Managed to get my ass out of the house today to go to the store to get some rollin papers. There was some old bitch in front of me trying to pay with pennies so I turned her into a pillar of salt.
It's fucking great being Jesus.